Suspend Your Disbelief

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Congratulations. (Except I hate you.)

I have always thought that freudenschade should be a word. Definition: feeling bad when good things happen to other people.

Apparently The Rejectionist agrees. A recent essay gives some advice on what to do when good things happen to bad people:

No, today we wish to discuss the cretin of all cretins, the foulest of asshats: the person who is not only talentless but LOATHSOME. Maybe it is that jerkwad from your critique group who says useless, mean things about everyone else’s work while his own stories are thirty-page expository accounts of his erotic escapades! Maybe, for the agents among our readership, and this hypothetical situation is not what inspired this item or anything, maybe that person is THE MOST AWFUL OF ALL IMAGINABLE FORMER CLIENTS, that deranged wretch who blamed you for her miserable love life, sent crazed emails to every editor at the Big Six accusing you of sabotaging her career, made mean-spirited personal statements about your assistant, who is stylish AND clever, thank you very much, and also refuses to acknowledge the books she writes “[make] Mickey Spillane look like Dostoyevsky”*! Author-friends, when THAT person achieves success, it is verily a thousand flaming knives in the breast of every noble soul among us! When THAT person signs a seven-figure deal with film rights optioned by James Cameron, IT IS ONLY RIGHT TO BURN WITH A JUST AND MIGHTY RAGE.

For The Rejectionist’s tips on how to cope, read the full post. I’m working on #6, myself.

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