Greetings agent. I have written the most important book on earth.
Will someone, for the love of God, please kill me.
Hello. I’ve queried more than 50 other agents with this and have gotten nowhere. Now I’m querying you.
You had me at hello.
I’M TYPING MY QUERY IN ALL CAPS SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO NOTICE IT!
Wait, I’ll respond to you when my retinas stop burning.
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